I love you; I love you; I love you. Why? Are we looking for their kindness, their smile, their humor, their genuineness, or love? Can you really see the pain that the person is feeling and do not know how to explain what is on the inside that has caused a major change? I can remember a couple married over 50 years, and the spouse could not see the pain within his wife. The spouse was abusive, so many thought, that they should divorce but, little did others know that one of them had a mental illness that was later discovered that caused the relationship to have all kinds of emotional trauma for both in the marriage. When we do not have knowledge of a couple’s situation finding fault and being judgmental could cause more harm within ones’ marriage.
Mental illness has caused over 400 million people to experience an emotion that has caused a lot of pain, confusion, and divorce for couples. When we first meet did you see my anxiety and asked what you could do to help, did you see my worrying about what the future would hold for us, did you see my difficulty in trying to manage. When trials and tribulations come in a marriage and you were not aware of what to do, separation should not be an option. The Gottman method agrees that it takes two to make the relationship works remember the slogan, “it takes baby”. By 2030 the cost of mental health will be around $16 trillion dollars and the divorce rate will be more than 800,000. Mental health is not new just like divorce is not new. Our knowledge has not increased about what causes divorce and recognizing mental illnesses. Remember we want to be seen and heard, can you see and hear me?
Tools are here:
· Marriage can be mentally and physically draining because it is a job and a union, and with a job, you must work. It is worth it, let divorce be a word that is not part of your vocabulary and if need be, consult for outside professional help.
· Marriage should bloom and not have gloom. Communicate when you do not want to. Never stop talking to one another and you can learn new things about each other. Proverbs 25:11 A word fitly spoken is like apples of gold in settings of silver.” (NKJV) The tongue can string and can be deadly when used the wrong way.
· Prepare your marriage for action to connect with one another through being supportive when you learn that mental illnesses have invaded your relationship.
https://www.pexels.com/photo/photo-of-woman-wearing-bridal-gown-3916019/
